Monday, December 12, 2011

'Tis the Season for a Holly Jolly Yuletide Movie Quiz

Most people who know me know that I love a good film. The people who know me really well know that I love to spontaneously quote a good film, which I do -- often.

Now to be frank, my favorite movies to quote are typically 'B' or 'C' quality, cult-favorite type movies such as So I Married an Axe Murderer or Airplane! And I typically decide to quote these films at the most obscure moments, belting out phrases like "I care for Apple Jacks a great deal" and "There's a sale at Penney's!" with such haphazard irregularity as to make my good-natured husband peer questioningly above the rim of his glasses at me with that what-on-earth-have-I-gotten-myself-into look on his benevolent face. (But he married me, so he's stuck with me).

All of that said, it does my heart good to quote a flick. And since it's Christmas time again, and since Christmas is never truly complete without sitting down for three or four great holiday movies, I decided that I'd treat my readers to a Yuletide Movie Quiz. I know, I know, you can barely contain your enthusiasm.

So... below I've listed twenty Christmas movie quotes from ten different holiday films. Some of the movies are funny; others, dramatic. Some are full-length feature films; others are made-for-TV specials. They represent a variety of decades. Chances are, however, that you have seen the majority of the ten films from which these quotes are derived, and if you haven't seen one or two, then you have probably at least heard of them. In other words, none of these films are obscure, so that should help you out.

I won't help you by telling you the names of the ten films I've quoted. You'll have to figure that out on your own (and try to overcome the temptation to use the internet). I will tell you this: The quotes are not evenly divided between the films. So there may be one quote from a particular film and four from another, for example. I will also tell you this: You can rule out most of the Christmas movies from the last decade or so, as it would likely take a legion of dashing reindeer to drag me into a theatre to see one. That means that Elf (which I've never seen but may find funny) is not one of the quoted films. It also means that Ernest Saves Christmas is not included, as viewing that movie is about as appealing to me as drinking a gallon of sour eggnog.

If you would like to grade yourself, I will post another blog nearer Christmas Day with the answers. Ready? Set? Quiz!

1. If that cat had nine lives, it sure used 'em all.

2. Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?

3. Eureka! This year, Christmas will be OURS!

4. Every man on that transport died. Harry wasn't there to save them because you weren't there to save Harry.

5. The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone, and the lamp blazed forth in unparalleled glory.

6. Susan, I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc.

7. Teacher says, 'Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.' (Theologically fallacious, but that's beside the point).

8. (Singing) The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: Stink, stank, stunk.

9. May God forgive me for the time I've wasted.

10. Do innkeeper's wives have naturally curly hair?

11. Oh, Vermont should be beautiful this time of year, with all that snow.

12. (Singing) Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick; lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick.

13. What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?

14. We'll have to outwit the fiend with our superior intelligence!

15. Give me one reason, one good reason, why we should spend our last two hours in Florida looking at the sisters of Freckle-Face Haynes, the dog-faced boy.

16. I never thought it was such a bad little tree. It's not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

17. ... there's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here.

18. Fra-Gee-Lay... That must be Italian.

19. (Singing) Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. You can't fire me, I quit. Seems I don't fit in.

20. We're kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.

These may be quite easy to the Christmas Movie Connoisseur, but I'll take that chance. I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope it inspires you to catch a good Christmas movie or two in the next couple of weeks. Until the answers are posted... Merry Christmas!

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